MANLY CARTOONS: NO SMURFS OR care BEARS ALLOWED!

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by beloved Smith

Beau Smith

As numerous of you know, I’m not one who favors the methods of the extreme politically appropriate world. The methods of the extreme PC world are just as poor as well as destructive as those of the extreme politically inaccurate world. as well much of either is a poor thing.

I favor typical sense as well as strong parenting. My parents were excellent believers in typical sense as well as they taught it to me as well as my siblings as well as sisters quite good. None of us ended up as serial killers or on desired posters in the publish office, at least not yet.

I tried to do the exact same with my boys. They’ve all grown as much as do great as well as to be honest, they didn’t do half the awful things I did. So I’m delighted as well as happy of em’. My youngest son, Nick, was born in 1983. I have to state that the early 80s were a awful time for Saturday morning cartoons. When he got old sufficient as well as started paying interest to them I discovered that the TV landscape was littered with unmanly cartoons that had much more sweetness than a box of Trix cereal with a side purchase of glazed doughnuts. There were The Smurfs (more subversive crap from the French), My bit Pony, care Bears, Teddy Ruxpin (more evil than Chucky), as well as other cartoons that practically make me throw up just discussing their names.

Now I recognize that a few of you younger people grew up viewing G.I. Joe, He-Man, as well as Transformers. They were much better than the cuddly stuff that I discussed above, however they weren’t close to being really manly. The cartoons I’m gonna institution you on today would never have those G.I. Joe “After institution Special” moments to tell you exactly how to be good to your neighbor. He-Man always let Skeletor go as well as what was keeping that frustrating Orko? exact same to be stated about Thundercats. It was like viewing westerns where the great man always shoots the gun out of the poor guy’s hand. They likewise had those bit “Hallmark” moments telling you to clean your teeth as well as don’t spit on the sidewalk. Don’t let the innocence of youth cloud your mind, these were not manly cartoons. They were the closest thing you had, however they weren’t close enough.

I chose best then that Nick was gonna be subjected to some manly cartoons that wouldn’t have him out hugging trees or bring a indication that stated “Free Willie”. So I gathered up a lot of VHS tapes full of the great stuff. The stuff I grew up on. If being a parent is being a function model, then I was gonna be at the front of the line.

I desired him to view cartoons that not only dealt with great vs. evil, however showed exactly how to do it in a manly fashion as well as carved a remove path to keeping poor men from committing that criminal offense twice.

Here are a few of the necessary manly cartoons that were packed into my old VCR:

Jonny Quest

Jonny Quest: The original Jonny Quest, not that sugar coated-sissy CGI stuff that came out later. This was the Jonny Quest that ran from 1964 to ‘65. This show had whatever a young young boy might associate to; explosions, device guns, laser beams, karate chops, evil foreign men running as well as screaming for their lives as Race Bannon (Jonny Quest’s bodyguard) threw all type of hurt at ‘em. It was nothing to see Jonny Quest clobber a poor man over the head with board (with a nail in it) or even fast terminate a grease gun at ‘em. That was my dream as a 12 year old kid, to terminate a device gun at worldwide spies as well as monsters.

Jonny’s finest good friend Hadji was no slouch either. He always had some techniques in that turban he wore. He might appeal snakes as well as wasn’t above instructing an elephant to crush the poor men while they were still in their trip car.

Jonny’s canine Bandit was always getting them into messes, however when the chips were down you might depend upon him to bite the poor man on the butt as well as make him howl. Dr. Quest didn’t do much of the combating with his fists, however he was always there to develop the laser beam or bomb that Race needed to even the chances against an evil army of method as well numerous poor guys. Plus, he was the envy of all evil mad scientists that tried to over throw the world. They were always trying to kill him.

The original Jonny Quest was one of the biggest cartoons ever. It had it all; death, destruction, genuine mystery, intrigue, science, youngsters being part of it without being as well much of the center of attention, as well as great animation. a few of the episodes were absolute classics: the Yeti, the German WWI ace in the Andes, the huge unsightly creature on the ship, werewolves, as well as Dr. Syn’s robotic spider.

From a kid’s point of view, the storylines were excellent as well as quickly the most interesting thing for any type of youngster to watch. Jonny was a youngster who got to travel around the world as well as kick poor man butt. What bit youngster wouldn’t like that?

Race Bannon

The original animation with Race, Dr. Quest, as well as Hadji was a significant dose of honesty shunned by today’s P.C. world. When the WWI fighter, total with monocle as well as scar on face, crashed into the side of the mountain in a flaming heap, Race looked Jonny square in the eye as well as stated “That’s a horrible method to die Jonny, however he deserved it”. Race didn’t hold back any type of punches as well as I’ll bet he cussed like a sailor off camera. Race was John Wayne, James Bond, as well as Kenneth Tobey all rolled into one man.

Two scenes stood out in the series as well as would never make it onto any type of type of children’s programming today, or in the future. The very first was when CIA agent as well as Dr. Quest protector, Race Bannon, is in Hong Kong to satisfy a get in touch with to pump them for some information. The get in touch with is a hot Chinese babe who invites him back to her personal boat to talk about the information he needs. cut to the Jonny/Hadji/Bandit storyline for a scene. cut to the Dr. Quest for a moment. go to commercial. When we come back, Race’s “informant” is standing near him using a robe while he is sitting on the corner of her bed putting his boots on. He thanks her for the info as well as leaves. even at a young age I understood that Race had just “pumped ”her for all the information he needed to get the task done. Jonny couldn’t have a much better function design as well as neither might I.

The next traditional scene was when Race’s airplane goes down over the jungle as well as they all have to parachute out. When they land on the jungle floor as well as are trying to gather themselves up, a pissed off panther discovers them. Bandit starts barking, the Panther growls prepared to assault as well as Race yells to everybody not to move. Race increases his rifle, fires off a shot, as well as the Panther slumps to the ground, obviously dead. When Jonny starts to walk toward the panther Race yells. “Wait! He may not be dead yet.” then he puts one more round into the panther, which kinda shudders again, bleeds, then dies. Can any type of of you name one more animation that kills off a pissed off endangered animal as well as doesn’t end up with PETA on their back trying to get the show axed? The great 60’s jazz like score to the show was great, as well as the opening credit ratings were wonderful. Without a doubt, Race Bannon is a Testosterone God!

If they ever choose to do a film or grown up Jonny Quest experience I sure hope he has all the manly methods of Race Bannon as well as the brains of Dr. Quest. throw the PC book out the window as well as take off the dress. It’s time to guy up!

The Herculoids

Another Hanna-Barbera manly animation that I added to Nick’s should see listing was The Herculoids. There was the household of Zandor, a excellent testosterone butt kicking warrior; his hottie other half as well as damsel in distress, Tarra; as well as their son, Dorno. as well as then there were their animal/creature posse; Igoo the huge rock Ape, Gloop as well as Gleep the shape altering glob creatures, Tundro the rhino like creature that shot explosive terminate spheres from his horn, as well as Zok the flying dragon like creature that terminated laser beams from his eyes as well as tail. They were incredible.

Each of the creatures stood out from the other pets/sidekick/creatures from other cartoons. They were imply as well as you never wished to get them pissed off. The writers as well as animators showed this with the characters. If you saw one episode of The Herculoids, you understood you didn’t want to ever mess with them.

Zandor ran such a tight ship that he even had child Dorno phone call him as well as his mother by their very first names. There’s respect for youth.

The Herculoids. Art by Steve Rude.

One of my preferred scenes that sums up the mindset of the whole show as well as the manly age was when Zandor as well as the Herculoids just completed combating off as well as crushing a significant army of flying robots, as well as I imply countless them. The crushed parts of the robots littered the significant countryside of the world as far as the eye might see. Dorno looks as much as Zandor as well as states “ What do we finish with all these robots, Zandor?” Zandor looks out over the mess of ruined metal as well as replies “ let nature insurance claim them. They will be a cautioning to all others that seek to invade our planet.” That was a excellent “up yours” to every recyclin’, Greenpeace lovin’, tree squeezin’, worldwide warmin’, wimp that ever wished to throw himself in front of a infant seal.

Other manly Hanna-Barbera cartoons that I would suggest are:

Space Ghost

Space Ghost (The original series): much like The Herculoids, area Ghost took no prisoners, at least not without busting them up quite great first. In one episode a truly nasty poor man satisfied his death in a awful atom smashing method at the hands of area Ghost. Jayce, one of area Ghost’s youngster sidekicks, asked if that was the best thing to do. area Ghost locations his hand on Jayce’s take on as well as states “He got what he deserved. Now, have you done that homework yet?” Yeah, I’d state that was motivation to research study harder.

Shazzan

Shazzan: In 1967 this huge genie made the 60s animation scene with his youngster sidekicks Chuck, Nancy as well as the flying goofy camel Kaboobie. Chuck as well as Nancy would always get in over their heads with some Arab poor men or magic masters. They each had rings that in shape together as well as would summons Shazzan the huge genie. The reason this animation was so great was since Shazzan never lost or even came close to losing. Granted, there wasn’t much suspense in that, however that’s not why you viewed it. You viewed it to see just exactly how poor Shazzan would humiliate as well as pummel the screaming poor man with the funny accent.

Shazzan had a voice that was a cross between Sean Connery as well as Ted Cassidy. He laughed all the time as he beat the butt of the poor guy. Shazzan was one sadistic child of a gun who really delighted in terrorizing the poor guy. He typically medication the butt whuppin’ out too. He either left the poor man dead or put him in such a horrifying circumstance that the poor man begged to be killed. It was some ill stuff when you truly believe about it , however I liked it.

Frankenstein Jr.

Frankenstein Jr.: much like Shazzan only a bit nicer. This is a great prelim for younger youngsters before you subject em’ to Shazzan, “the chuckling back hand of desert justice”. Although if you truly pay close interest you’ll see that even Frankenstein Jr. might get a bit sadistic as well. His youngster sidekick was a genuine brat who truly egged Frankie Jr. to put the huge hurt on poor guys.

Birdman

Birdman: much like area Ghost in the truth that he was not to be messed with. His only weakness was not getting sufficient solar rays made him weak. even without the power bands, area Ghost was nobody’s bitch. Birdman was a grim, no-nonsense guy. His sidekick the eagle/falcon was one nasty bird. It would just as soon sink its talons into you as look at you. poor men were nothing however affordable birdseed to him.

The amazing Four: The Hanna Barbera version was the best. poor men got punished as well as The thing was a scream. excellent character stuff here.

The Galaxy Trio

The Galaxy Trio: much more area butt-kicking without any remorse. They even had the excellent Ted Cassidy (Lurch) doing one of the voices.

Dino Boy: Dino young boy as well as Ugg the Caveman had excellent adventures with fantastic monsters as well as dinosaurs. Ugg was a genuine silent strong kinda dad figure for Dino Boy. There was a great deal of poor man death in this cartoon.

Hanna & Barbera surrounded by a few of their well-known creations.

Without a doubt, Hanna-Barbera cornered the market on testosterone heroes in cartoons. This is the exact same studio that provided us excellent youngster stuff like The Jetsons, The Flintstones, Huckleberry Hound, Atom Ant, The Impossibles, Magilla Gorilla as well as so numerous more. You can’t go wrong with showing your youngster a Hanna-Barbera animation from the 60s. My child Nick thanks me all the time as well as we still sit now as well as then as well as view ‘em. He’s 28 years old now as well as has many of them on tape or DVD.

Nick is a fine upstanding young guy that I’m extremely happy of. I say thanks to all the people at Hanna-Barbera for assisting making him the fine young guy he is today. I’m quite sure that a person day when he has youngsters that he is gonna dust off those Hanna-Barbera DVDs as well as tapes as well as raise his youngsters right.

Go as well as discover a few of these excellent cartoons as well as share them with your kid. If you don’t have any type of kids, then view em’ yourself. You’ll be a much better guy for it. For you women, it’ll assist you comprehend a genuine guy much better as well as appreciate him.

Your amigo,

Beau Smith

The flying Fist Ranch

www.flyingfistranch.com

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